Mother's 54-year-old in-laws try to steal her son's identity to continue getting food from food banks: 'We know better than to jeopardize [...] our son’s identity'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Mar 13, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Some people have uncomfortable relationships with their in-laws, and others have to worry that their in-laws are trying to steal their son's identity. Ok, well, this is a super specific situation that perhaps not that many individuals have dealt with previously, but at the very least, it likely puts one's petty grievances with their in-laws in perspective.

So if you're the type of person who makes mountains of mole hills every time your in-law sends a passive-aggressive message, try to remember what this 31-year-old mother had to endure when she discovered that her in-laws were not only relying on food banks for meals but were also using their grandson's identity in the process. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10478865408
    via Unsplash+ (Tim Mossholder)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Now, for the details! This woman and her husband live 500 miles away from her in-laws, yet somehow, the in-laws are trying to pretend that they are caretakers of this woman's son and are using that as an excuse to continue getting their meals from food banks. They are now claiming that the food bank is requesting the son's social security number (which was later confirmed to not be possible), which ended up being the straw that broke the camel's back for the mom. Here's the full story!

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    My husband (30m) and I (31F) recently received a phone call from my father in law(54m) Apparently for some time they have been going to food banks to help out since my mother in law (53f) won't work since getting diagnosed with COPD. They have
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    been telling the food banks that they have been taking care of their grandson (my son). The food bank has allowed giving them food but just recently asked them for my son's SSN so that
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    they can continue getting food from them. My in laws have not been taking care of my son because we live over 500 miles away from them. We were
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    shocked by them asking for our sons SSN because obviously the answer is NO! My husband texted them back telling them no it's not gonna happen and they have yet
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    to even respond. Am I the ahle for wanting to take this further and report them to this food bank for fraud and identity theft?
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    chaisingsmitty • 44m ago Foodbanks don't normally ask for ssn. At least in my area. That sounds like they want the number so they can access something else, like foodstamps or a new credit card.
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    Danniedear • 59m ago Absolutely not the a h le. In fact, you'd be irresponsible if you didn't take further action.
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    Your in-laws are committing fraud by falsely claiming they are caring for your son to receive food bank benefits. Asking for his SSN
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    takes it a step further into potential identity theft. That is a huge red flag and a serious legal issue. If you gave them that number, they could open up an entirely new world of financial fraud in your son's name.
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    It's one thing to need help, but it's another to lie and exploit a child's identity to get it. If they truly need food assistance, they should be honest about their situation
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    and seek the appropriate support rather than dragging your son's identity into their deception.
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    I understand they may be struggling, but their desperation does not justify committing a crime especially one that could impact your son's financial
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    future. Reporting them to the food bank is the right thing to do. They are taking resources away from families who actually qualify and need them.
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    Cheezburger Image 10478865664
    via Unsplash+ (Tim Mossholder)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Their lack of response after being told "no" speaks volumes. They know what they are doing is wrong. Stay firm, protect your son, and absolutely report it.
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    Constantly_Curi... • • 42m ago Lock down your son's credit. A food bank is never going to ask for anyone's SSN - their mission is to serve people in need. Your in-laws
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    want the SSN number so they can open credit accounts in his name. This also means their credit is terrible.
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    If the food bank is asking for them for further proof of qualifications, then the food bank is already suspicious of them.
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    Never underestimate the ability of people to be really to others but especially their own family. It's much easier to steal from family than strangers. NTA
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    UPDATE We have found the food bank and they DO NOT take SSN so we have locked and checked everything to make sure our son's identity is safe and ours as well.
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    No SSN was giving to them because we know better than to jeopardize our identity and our son's identity. We are going to confront them about what we have found and see if they will give us the truth so we can see where we need to go from here.
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    Thank you all for your advice even the negative feedback it has helped us find a conclusion to this crazy mess.
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Tags

family drama entitled parents identity theft AITAH mother family feud entitled people karma in laws family grandparents entitled people
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